Wednesday, December 23, 2015

I won't let idiots ruin my day

You.
You.
AND ESPECIALLY YOU.

You guys
were totally
over the line.


You just hurt
my goddamn
feelings.

But thanks anyway.

Cause i won't
let any of you
ruin
my fuckin' day.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Sometimes your circle decreases in size, but increases in value.

"The sad truth is that there are some people who will only be there for you as long as you have something they need. When you no longer serve a purpose to them, they will leave. The good news is, if you tough it out, you’ll eventually weed these people out of your life and be left with some great friends you can always count on."

I'm so grateful for all of them, even the ones who are no longer a part of it. Thanks for the past year. Meskipun yah gue akuilah kalo gue ini kadang suka nyebelin grgr terlalu prideful, suka mager, pelit, statis, awkward & sok perfeksionis... gue salut sama kalian yang masih bisa nerima kekurangan gue itu. Gue terharu kalian perhatian juga kadang sama gue HAHAHAH padahal gue sebenernya okay okay aja meskipun ditinggal sendiri. Toh emang gue aslinya individualis sih.

So yeah maaciw banyak deh ya pokoknya, dan maaf belom bisa jujur banget sama kalian ttg segala hal. Karena gue nggak mau ngerepotin, ngebebanin atau bikin kalian rebet sama urusan-urusan gue. Maaf banget gue suka setengah-setengah kalo cerita. Dan maaf semaaf maafnya kalo gue suka ilang-ilangan dan ninggalin kalian ehehe lop yu guyzzz :p

Monday, November 30, 2015

Wow, where'd this motivation come from?

SEORANG GUE... AKHIRNYA... SATU LANGKAH LEBIH AKTIF DARI SEMESTER LALU.
EH BUKAN, INI SIH BISA JADI TIGA LANGKAH SAKING SOK IYENYA.

Ohok. Gue nggak mau cerita panjang lebar sih, intinya sekarang gue udah menjadi bagian dari sesuatu yang awalnya cuma iseng-iseng aja gitu nyoba, siapa tau ada yang bisa menghargai upaya gue untuk lebih termotivasi dalam bidang yang gue kuasai.

Dan akhirnya, BOOM.

Gue menjadi Rufi Imanisa yang baru setelah sekian lama bersembunyi dibalik batu.
Tbh gue nggak terlalu begitu seneng sih karna ada beberapa faktor yang membuat gue patah semangat belakangan ini, tapi ya harus gue jalanin apa adanya.
Nggak semuanya sesuai dengan keinginan gue kan? :)

Pokoknya thank you so much deh untuk orang-orang yang percaya sama kemampuan gue. Hoho lopyu lopyu lopyu :p

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

This week has been so hellish so far and it should stop

4 more days until this hellish week is over.
Duh gue tuh nggak bisa banget  masabodo setelah berduka dengan ipk gue yang terjun bebas di semester kemaren. I was like "ya ampun padahal gue yakin dapet A tapi kok... kok..."

Ya mungkin karna guenya kurang aktif aja sih, meskipun gue yakin sama kemampuan gue di matkul itu tapi kan percuma juga kalo gue nggak cari muka sama dosen, karna mereka bakal nganggep gue sama aja kayak yang lain. Hm solusinya sih ya mau nggak mau gue sekarang harus caper sama dosen, meskipun gue nggak suka sama beliau atau nggak mau dikatain 'anak-rajin' sama anak-anak lain.

Rrr sebenernya tujuan utama gue bukan pengen menaikkan ipk, melainkan bertahan sampai akhir dan menghindari nilai 'C'. Disamping gue udah mulai lelah dengan semua tugas-tugas ini, ternyata gue semakin sadar kalo kemungkinan gue salah jurusan itu agak menjengkelkan.

Saturday, November 14, 2015

I used to be so motivated by such compliments

Waktu SMP kelas 2, gue punya hobi yang bisa dibilang... sedikit unik. Padahal awalnya hobi itu cuma iseng-iseng aja buat pamer ke temen-temen kalo sebenernya gue punya passion sama sesuatu dan nunjukkin ke mereka kalo gue punya mimpi.

Hm, seperti yang beberapa orang tau, gue pernah punya mimpi menjadi seorang penulis. Dengan hobi sejenis bikin puisi tentang kesengsaraan, sisi gelap dan emosi manusia serta hobi ngelist judul cerita yang skenarionya selalu gue khayalin sebelum tidur. Gue punya lebih dari 50 judul dan seperempatnya pernah gue tulis dibuku atau diketik di komputer berupa sinopsis, supaya gue nggak lupa inti ceritanya.

Lama kelamaan puisi yang gue karang makin bikin gue putus asa, karena gue nggak berani nunjukkin puisi itu ke siapa-siapa dan nggak pernah dapet feedback karena gue tau mereka nggak akan ngerti sama apa yang puisi gue ungkapkan. Akhirnya gue semakin fokus sama bikin cerita yang sepanjang novel kisahnya.

Tapi karena gue selalu punya ide yang baru dalam jangka waktu tertentu, akhirnya gue nggak pernah menyelesaikan satu pun cerita. Eh tapi judul-judul dan files berupa list karakternya sampe sekarang masih gue simpen sih, mungkin suatu saat bakal gue lanjutin.

Oh ya, back to the story, jadi intinya karena gue nggak pernah menyelesaikan satu pun novel, gue pun nyoba bikin fan fiction (cerpen) buat ngetes kemampuan gue terus ngepublish fanfic itu ke sebuah site fanfic terkenal. Dan setelah beberapa bulan, cerita gue dipublish sama site itu.

Responnya heboh, karena gue pendatang baru dan mereka tertarik sama alur ceritanya. Maka dari comments itu akhirnya gue termotivasi untuk bikin lagi cerita sequel sebanyak 6 part dengan judul baru. Jangka waktunya lumayan lama dari part 1 ke 6, karena posisinya gue udah di boarding school waktu itu. Tapi setelah liat comments yang mengharukan akhirnya gue semakin yakin kalo gue pengen serius bikin cerita.

Meskipun yah anehnya setiap cerita yang gue bikin selalu penuh misteri, tapi minimal pada positiflah komentarnya^^


Top 4 comments

Oh iya, btw itu gue ngepublish ceritanya secara rahasia, cuma satu orang temen gue aja yang tau waktu itu hehe ;p

Bukannya apa-apa sih gue ngepost ini, gue cuma kangen masa-masa itu aja dimana gue punya banyak waktu luang buat mengekspresikan diri kapanpun gue mau. Andaikan tugas gue tidak menghambat passion gue yang dulu itu pasti sekarang gue bakal nyelesaiin at least satu buku. Fuh.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

I am so hopeless

Hopelessness is infecting my very being.
I'm like this because i'm dissapointed with myself.
Why can't I be more studious or passionate like everyone?
I'm always telling myself "There's nothing wrong, you're just having a moment. Take a deep breath and keep going."
But still, sometimes i feel like i should give up on some things and start a new life, again. Sigh

That's it.
I can't say another word about these mixed feelings.

Thursday, September 17, 2015

6

Oh dear, what to do... lagi-lagi gue bertemu angka 6. Entah kenapa sejak SD di tingkat akhir sampe saat ini, angka 6 selalu menghantui gue. I don't quite remember specifically about what happened those days but i get this feeling everytime i meet this number.

Jadi gini, the reason why gue ngepost cerita ini adalah karena pergantian kelas. And guess what, i ended up di kelas TB06.

Gue kurang tau kenapa gue bisa nganggep nomor ini jinx gue, tapi sih yang pasti nomor ini hampir selalu ada dimana-mana di hidup gue. Kadang-kadang nomor grup, atau nomor giliran, atau nomor dari sesuatu yang gue dapet... sampe sekarang gue nggak begitu paham kenapa gue bisa kurang suka sama nomor ini.

Sepertinya ada trauma atau sesuatu yang kurang memuaskan di masa lalu yang berhubungan dengan angka tersebut, tapi karena gue tidak pernah membawa kesedihan berlarut-larut bisa jadi hal penting itu sudah terlupakan.

Gue hanya bisa berdoa feeling gue salah, atau mungkin justru ini adalah pertanda baik yang akan datang. Who knows. Hehe

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Couch Potato & Cinderella

Hellowww akhir agustus!
Sudah sekitar dua minggu lebih gue liburan dengan melakukan aktivitas yang sama setiap harinya. Oh yea, seperti biasa gue berbaring di sofa atau ranjang tidur sambil menonton segala macam hal. Dan sejauh yang gue inget, gue sudah menyelesaikan sekitar belasan film, puluhan episode drama korea & jepang, ratusan episode anime, dan terus update setiap minggu dengan banyak episode baru berbagai variety & reality shows!

Tapi tenang, kerjaan gue bukan cuma males-malesan cem babi aja kok. Gue part-time jadi cinderella juga, karena gue home alone selama lebih dari seminggu (sekarang lagi pada di medan), dan finally gue memutuskan untuk membersihkan isi rumah dari ujung ke ujung. Ngepel, nyapu, nyuci, rapihin semua isi lemari, bahkan nyikat kamar mandi. Entah sejak kapan hobi baru gue "membersihkan segala sesuatu yang ada didepan mata" ini muncul, apa mungkin karena gue terlalu perfeksionis belakangan ini atau cuma bosen nggak ada kerjaan.

Yah bagus deh, ini pertanda baik. Meskipun gue udah nggak keluar apartemen sekitar tiga hari lebih, at least ada olahraga indoor. Lagipula gue jadi bisa lebih hemat nggak beli macem-macem, ya gak. OTL

Dan selama liburan ini, lagi-lagi gue kedatangan efek yoyo. Yep, I've gained some weight. Padahal cuma makan dua kali sehari, ckck kurang apacoba usaha gue buat mempertahankan berat badan. Sedihnya lagi, alasan gue pengen mempertahankan berat badan itu demi liburan minggu depan ke luar pulau jawa, soalnya gue tau......... setiap gue liburan ke suatu tempat yang jauh........ gue selalu capek dan laper. Yah, nambah buntel deh gue. (I'm a lady after all)

No, no, no. I'm not concerned about my body... but ma face!!! Kalo nanti gue punya double chin gimana? Sudah cukup dengan puffy cheeks ini...

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

I Must Be crazy

I buy stuff impulsively on clothes these days.
I sing a little louder than before and dance like a drunk girl before I go to sleep.
I laugh more than I should, and then I regret it.
Most of time I feel sick and uninspired.
And lately, I have to keep myself busy to avoid overthinking.

I feel like my personality keeps changing dramatically every year.
It terrifies me.
I must be crazy.

But the funniest thing about it-- I really have no clue what the reason is.
Because I simply don't wanna bother myself with the details.

I Was More Lost Than I Had Known

“I couldn’t be with people and I didn’t want to be alone. Suddenly my perspective whooshed and I was far out in space, watching the world. I could see millions and millions of people, all slotted into their lives; then I could see me—I’d lost my place in the universe. It had closed up and there was nowhere for me to be. I was more lost than I had known it was possible for any human being to be.” 

 Marian Keyes

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Delicious Ambiguity


“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.”

—Gilda Radner

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Another New Beginning

Hi to all viewers!
Been a long time since i posted something here.

I locked all the photo albums on my facebook. I deleted around 200 posted picts on my instagram. I transferred all of my previous posts to another private blog. And yes, I did it because i wanted to. I don't wanna expose any useless emotions anymore and i just want to live peacefully from now on.

I'm nearly 20 years old. I think I have to act mature even in cyberspace environments & I promised myself to be careful on social networking sites.

Bye puberty.

As I get older, I get smaller. I see other parts of the world I didn’t see before. Other points of view. I see outside myself more.—  Neil Young

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

WISHLIST

1. Dress up and have a photoshoot with my best friends in studio

2. Cover a song in studio

3. Own a cool home theater

4. Buy hardisk
    320 GB, 500 GB (2), 1000 GB

5. Go camping in the woods

6. Followed by famous person on twitter
Pleasure Ellis, Tinashe, Yoko Ono, Jenni Hogan, Justin Bieber, Meilin Gray, Kam Bennett

7. Go to
    Japan, China, England, South Korea, Thailand, Italy, Singapore, Greece, USA, Australia, Brazil, Netherlands, India, France, Hongkong, Hawaii, Malaysia, Canada, Makkah, Africa, Spain, Germany, Swiss, Bali, Papua, Medan, Aceh, Jogja, Vietnam, Dubai, Macau, Belitong

8. Ride a camel

9. Hold a penguin

10. Be taller (at least 158cm)

11. Learn how to play tennis

12. See a monster

13. Have an adventure in amazon

14. See anaconda

15. Own a shop

16. Go Kart

17. Try
Pizza (fruits), Dim Sum, Lemon cake, Gelato, Ddukbokki, Takoyaki, Nasi lemak, Thai pinneapple fried rice, Some delicious dumplings, Goguma, Chicken curry, Mochi (Cheese, Strawberry, Vanilla, Chocolate, Durian, Original), Kimchi, Real cocoa, Blueberry, Gingerbread, Fried ice cream

18. Ride a hovercraft

19. Own a treehouse

20. Swim in an infinity pool

21. Learn how to ride a horse

22. Watch sunrise with someone

23. Water Sport
      Fly fish, Rolling Doughnut, Scuba Diving, Banana boat, Jet Ski

24. Skydiving

25. Skiing

26. Learn how to play piano

27. Write a novel

28. Volunteering

29. Fall asleep under the stars

30. Own a personal library

31. Meet my idols
Raisa

32. Win a competition

33. Accepted by my dream college

34. Ride a helicopter

35. Explore the cave

36. Enter a large aquarium

37. Attend a concert

38. Bungee jumping

39. Enter a hot spring bath

40. Bake a cake

41. Have a road trip with friends

42. Be a famous writer

43. See an aurora

44. See a comet

45. Be a designer          

46. Attend my elementary school reunion

47. Experience winter

48. Experience autumn

49. Visit a castle

50. Own a polaroid

51. Go to floating market

52. Watch turtles

53. Find or build a secret room

54. Own a handycam

55. Own an SLR

56. Be able to drive a car

57. Ride subway / train

58. Watch musical (live)

59. Play a game/mission with friends

60. Design my own dream house

61. See cherry blossom

62. Buy my parents something cool

63. Have a fantastic birthday party

64. Part-time job during college

65. Visit Disneyland, Universal

66. Enter chocolate factory

67. Enter the pyramid

68. Eat in a unique restaurant
Nanny's Pavillion

69. Go to beach with friends in 2 days

70. Visit a cool museum
Madam Tussaud

71. Win the lottery

72. Rock-climbing

73. Own a closet full of my clothes

74. Ride an elephant

75. Try TOEFL

76. Paint something beautiful

77. Visit a big theme park

78. Visit a wonderful tunnel

79. Visit a large maze garden

80. Play in the mud flat

81. Buy a cake for each members of my family on their birthday

82. Go fishing on the lake or river

83. Visit a festival in another country

84. Play around with friends in a practice room (in front of mirrors)

85. Received a wonderful gift from someone

86. Go overseas with my entire family

87. Attend my best friend's wedding

88. Visit a unique village
      Dragon Village (Kampung Naga)

89. Own an underground room

90. Party on a yacht

91. Invited by a famous person

92. Wear hanbok

93. Wear kimono

94. Create a movie

95. Live in an apartement

96. Learn magic

97. Save someone's life

98. Launch a big party

99. Cliff jump

100. Swim under waterfall

101. Eat square watermelon

102. Watch fireworks with someone

103. Catch fireflies

104. Ride a gondola

105. Lie down in the meadow

106. Run through a field of flowers

107. Wear a couple tee

108. Archery

109. Own a private jet

110. Go to old bookstore market

111. Own an hourglass

112. Be in a movie

113. Be in a magazine

114. Be in a newspaper
       Interviewed 3x, Poetry, As winner of design competition

115. Hike to Machu Picchu

116. Go on a picnic with friends

117. Visit a circus

118. Bury a time-capsule

119. Fire a gun

120. Visit Grand Canyon

121. Decorate my own bedroom

122. Buy a new bicycle

123. Go to Wizarding World of Harry Potter

124. Be in a band
       Summer, Flushback

125. Own a karaoke machine

126. Donate blood

127. Been to a therapist

128. Hold a snake

129. Give a large amount of money to charity

130. Get into film-making
       When I was 8 (Friend’s music video)

131. Own a polaroid

132. Star gaze from a rooftop

133. Get lost somewhere a whole day

134. Make a friend with famous person

135. Take a photo with celebrity

136. Visit a horror place

137. Watch a live magic show

138. Go to sauna

139. Go fruit picking

140. Smell the smelly tofu

141. Go on a biking trip

142. Buy a meal for a homeless person and have a conversation

143. Make a friend with stranger

144. Jump on trampoline

145. Ride a boat on the river

146. Meet a cancer survivor

147. Hug a panda

148. Look out of a telescope

149. Eat pizza in Italy

150. Sneak out at night and do something fun with friends

151. Acknowledged by famous person

152. Visit a shrine

153. Own a dreamcatcher

154. Buy an album photo then put my past photos there

155. Enter Boscha in Bandung

156. Enter a large labyrinth

157. Go to the beautiful hill

158. Ride on a double decker bus

159. Find treasures

160. Find my ideal guy

161. Cook new recipes, create my own

162. Be famous thru internet

163. Meet my childhood friends
       Michael (When I was 12 at clinic)

164. Visit cheesecake factory

165. See a shooting star

166. Go overseas with a group of friends

167. Stay in a hut in the middle of forest

168. Plant a tree and watch it grow

169. Learn how to knit

170. Have a conversation with a foreigner
Korean, Portuguese

171. Fingerprint test

172. Visit an alive museum

173. Own a cute hoodie

174. Go to amusement park with friends

175. Self camera on viking (Amusement park)

176. Shark cage swimming

177. Create a song

178. Ride a unicycle

179. Let go of a floating lantern

180. Escape

181. Write a love letter

182. Ride in a hot air balloon

183. Perform on a stage
At school (Choir, band, vocal group, duet, drama), at mall (Band)

184. Hold an owl

185. Visit an animal sanctuary

186. Find a four leaf clover

187. Get ice cream from an ice cream truck

188. Selfie with a lion or wild animals
Snake

189. Eat at a japanese buffet

190. Make an important decision with a coin toss

191. Ride in a limo

Friday, May 29, 2015

Tiger JK (feat. Jinshil of Mad Soul Child) – Reset (English Translation)

There’s an empty world deep in my heart, save me
I wanna reset , I wanna reset , I wanna reset
Lonely eyes trapped in darkness
Is there anyone to hold my hand?
I wanna reset , I wanna reset , I wanna reset
Someone somewhere will know my miserable heart
It’s right in front of me but I can’t find it like a oriole bird
I’m flying around by myself in this darkness, in my lonely night
I’m flying around by myself in this darkness, with a miserable heart
Why don’t you know? Even if I’m a small existence
Don’t trample on me but go with me
Your careless words and actions break me down
It corners me, though you deny it
I’m hiding behind the ridicule, don’t look for me
There’s an empty world deep in my heart, save me
I wanna reset , I wanna reset , I wanna reset
Lonely eyes trapped in darkness
Is there anyone to hold my hand?
I wanna reset , I wanna reset , I wanna reset
It’s just a passing wind
I try shouting at the person next to me
But only silence is looking at me
I am walking too but why are they getting farther apart?
Why am I standing here alone?
Why is only my world stopping?
I see them fading away farther and farther
I don’t care if it’s just one person, please look back, please hold my hand
I don’t care if it’s just one time, please hold my hand
Someone please stop for a moment
There’s an empty world deep in my heart, save me
I wanna reset , I wanna reset , I wanna reset
Lonely eyes trapped in darkness
Is there anyone to hold my hand?
I wanna reset , I wanna reset , I wanna reset
Your smile that’s not ridiculing me
Finds me again from disappearing
In the darkness, your smile
Shines brightly into my heart
I wanna reset , I wanna reset , I wanna reset
Your smile that’s not ridiculing me
Finds me again from disappearing
In the darkness, your smile
Shines brightly into my heart
I wanna reset , I wanna reset , I wanna reset
How about you
I`m all about you
I wanna go back to the beautiful days
reset
I’m left alone like this, loneliness
Please hold my hand right now
I wanna reset
I wanna reset
I wanna reset
The truth is hidden by scars
I wanna go back to the happy place
I wanna reset
I wanna reset
I wanna reset

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

MBTI Type


(2/4/2015 - 9:17)

INTJ - "Mastermind". Introverted intellectual with a preference for finding certainty. A builder of systems and the applier of theoretical models. 2.1% of total population.
Take Free Jung Personality Test
Personality Test by SimilarMinds.com